Kostya Bykhon: “You won’t understand that a man is gay until he speaks…”

He does not hide it and is always ready to answer any questions, even the most provocative ones. 

Opening the curtain not only on his life, but also on the life of gay men, he answered many questions and explained: What? What for? How? And why? 

 

1.Homosexuality – is a person born with it or can it be acquired in the process of life? 

It’s all instilled by parents in the upbringing of up to 10 years. They may not understand it themselves, but they do the wrong things in education and, thereby, give birth to this beginning. A child under 10 absorbs everything like a sponge. I was straight until I was 19, but I’ve always liked men – visually. At some point, I became interested and I tried. But, after that, for a long time I thought that this was a mistake and it came out by accident. But, finally, I realized that the gay was already with my husband, we planned to live together, there was also an offer with a ring, everything was as it should be. After a while, I realized that it was in me, I just suppressed these desires. From childhood I was very spoiled by my mother’s love, she cherished and cherished me and dressed me in girlish dresses. And dad was on the sidelines all the time and there was no this male upbringing, fatherly love.

 

2. When did you realize that you were gay?           

This is a very funny story. Once I bought myself a new phone and remembered that I was once registered on a dating site, but I could not remember the name. I just started looking for dating sites in a search engine, and in IV or V on the list there was a gay dating site. My first thought was – oh, maybe I’ll see someone I know now. But, first, I had to register and post my photos, which I did. There was a lot of activity in my direction, compliments (and I am avid for them), and I decided to meet the most persistent. I realized that there would be no second meeting, since he turned out to be not the person with whom I would like to still communicate. But I decided to finish the job this evening. And, as soon as I closed the door on the guy, I was so sick and sick that it lasted a month. But after that I met a friend,

 

3. You are not hiding anything and this deserves respect. How did your parents and relatives react to your orientation?   

For half a year I did not say anything to anyone, because I still had to finally resolve this issue for myself. Five months passed and I told my best friend. She took it quite adequately and said that she had never noticed this in me. Then I told absolutely everyone, and there was only one person who took it not quite normally and did not believe me. All the rest took it calmly, a friend is more important to them than his orientation. In principle, I don’t communicate very well with my dad and see each other very rarely, so he still doesn’t know that I’m gay. And my mother found out in such an interesting way: I called her and said that I was getting married, or rather, getting married. I met a man, he proposed to me and we are flying to America. She was in a hurry! But, two weeks later, she called me and said: “Kostya, if some girl offended you, That doesn’t mean they’re all bad!” She’s trying to make me think that I’m wrong. I told her that she would have a grandson, but there is no woman in my life! I don’t communicate with my sister now, she didn’t accept me the way I am.

 

4 . Sexual minorities have always been and will always be, but, as for me, now there is too much propaganda in Europe and the United States, and even here. What is your opinion on this matter?         

At first, it infuriated me, because I did not understand why it was put on display so much. I am very open minded, but I don’t want to walk around with a flag and shout some slogans! And not so long ago I understood the meaning of this. Society is used to seeing, for example, a banner of a family cafe with a woman, a man and a child. But, this is not considered propaganda of heterosexual relationships. I think that when people get used to non-traditional relationships, they will talk about it less.

 

5. Have you ever had problems because you are not like everyone else?

On the contrary, it always helps me in life! I’ll tell you more, I live in the famous area of ​​​​Odessa – Moldavanka, and I walk in the evenings with short shorts and have not yet met a single maniac who still does not attack me (laughs)! I think they are running away. Well, so, someone can giggle, but no more. I like Odessa, we all care in the good sense of the word.

 

6. Do you want to have a family and children in the future and how do you see it?

I really want a family, but it will definitely be a same-sex family. I want a baby, but it won’t be soon. At least in 10 years, and maybe 15. I do not see a family of a man + a man and a child. Not! I will have my own family and a child from a woman who does not live with me. I have a lot of girlfriends who lead a very cheeky life and I understand that someday they will stop and want children. And I will help! (laughs). I will fully provide for my child, see him, but he will not live with me. I don’t want my child to have a perception or social problem.

 

7. Can you tell me how many partners there were?

I can’t really answer because I never counted. (laughs). But, it’s a number with two zeros. At one point I wanted to be with everyone and at the same time. And at that moment, when I was already getting acquainted in the second round, I realized that I needed to stop. I like the “bear” type, but there are very few of them. For the last six months I have been dating guys who are not my type at all – models, dancers, stylists and others. I am now comfortable in the position – I am beautiful, and you are working! But, this does not mean the roles in our family, I just love beauty, style, creativity.

 

8. There are gays who are visible, but there are “hidden” (latent). Can you recognize the “hidden” in 10 minutes?

Now you can never tell who is who by appearance. You don’t know a man is gay until he talks. I will remember this forever (laughs). No straight man gesticulates, ever! The only exceptions are leading, creative individuals who help themselves express themselves with gestures. An ordinary man who is not connected with creativity never sits and gestures actively. The manner of speaking is very different from gay heterosexuals.

 

9. Have you ever been offered sex for money? If yes, what is the most interesting story?   

Yes, they did. But, not so much, because I have the opinion of a very self-sufficient person who clearly does not need it. I am flattered by such offers, because I am a prominent guy, but I never agreed to them! When I was 16, I was offered $3,000 a night with a very nice guy, but I declined. Maybe in vain? (laughs). I believe that absolutely everything has a price. Any person, any action can be bought. Here the issue price is more important. Simply, not everyone is ready to admit it. As for the funny story, when I was working as a waiter in an Irish pub, it was already morning and I was tired. Some drunken foreigner came up to me and began to say something, it seemed to me that he asked me to call him a taxi. But, I was so lazy and I told him – “number 3000”. He said no problem!!! And I speak English very badly. Then he took my hand he began to tell me something, we had already gone outside and at one moment I understood his only phrase: “let’s go to my room, my friend is there and we will give you a massage.” And then I took my hand and said: “good bye!”.

 

10. How can you comment on such a moment, for example, a man lives an ordinary life all his life and then, at 65, he becomes gay?

So he always felt like that. It does not happen that he sharply liked men. There is such an expression – latent gay. And this does not mean that he hides it from someone. He can hide it from himself and so carefully that only after many years it will manifest itself.